Barely Existing
by Cindy Ryan
Summary: After 'Play with fire' Sara vanishes, Grissom calls in a favor
1. Default Chapter

Title: Barely Existing  
  
Author: Cindy Ryan  
  
catagory: angst, Xover  
  
pairings: Jack/Sam, Grissom/Sara  
  
Summary: After 'Play with fire' Sara vanishes, Grissom calls in a favor  
  
Notes: Merry Christmas everyone! Here it is finally the rewritten verison of Barely   
  
Existing that I posted a few months back. Thanks to everyone who's been so supportive of   
  
this story. Especially my two beta readers for their invaluable feedback.  
  
This is a Grissom/Sara romance story. If you don't like that pairing turn back now. :) Timeline  
  
wise this is set about three weeks after Play with Fire. I also fudged with the WoaT timeline   
  
so I could fit Fallout into this story.  
  
I apoligize in advance for any funky formating issues.  
  
12:15 a.m.  
  
"You okay?"Warrick Brown asked as he pulled his car over to the side of the road. "You barely said two words since we left."  
  
Sara smiled sheepishly at her friend as she gathered her things. "Sorry, Warrick. I'm fine, just tired."  
  
Warrick rolled his head from side to side trying to get the kinks out of his neck. "Yeah I don't think I'll ever complain about no over time again."  
  
Sara laughed as she opened the passenger door and stepped out. "You joining Nick and I for breakfast tomorrow?"  
  
Warrick shook his head ruefully. "Would love to, but I can't. If I get home within the next half hour I might actually get five hours sleep before I have to go back."  
  
"Thanks for the ride."Sara said as she closed the door. "My Tahoe should be fixed in a couple days."  
  
Warrick smiled. "No problem. See you tomorrow."  
  
"Night."Sara replied as she turned away from the vehicle and walked up the drive to her apartment building.  
  
Warrick watched her for a few moments before he put the car into drive and pulled back into traffic.  
  
***********  
  
7 a.m.  
  
Criminalist Nick Stokes hummed softly to himself as he walked up the sidewalk to Sara Sidle's apartment building. It'd been nearly three weeks since the lab explosion. Greg had been released from the hospital three days before. Catherine was back from suspension and the lab itself was slowly coming back together with construction crews there twelve hours a day.  
  
Nick yawned as he knocked on Sara's apartment door. They didn't have to be at work till nine but they had agreed the night before to grab breakfast before shift.  
  
"Come on, Sara."Nick called after silence answered his knock. "If I'm up after working a double so can you."  
  
When no response came Nick placed his fist on the door to pound harder thinking she was in the shower. Nick was shocked when the door moved inward under his touch.  
  
Instincts took over and Nick unholstered his gun and slowly pushed the door the rest of the way open.  
  
Sara never left the door unlocked.  
  
"Sara?"Nick shouted as he stepped into the living room. There were no signs of a struggle. No furniture was overturned, no books on the floor.  
  
Mail was stacked neatly on the kitchen counter.  
  
Nick's fear intensified as he moved through the small apartment. Kitchen was intact, so was the bathroom.  
  
The bedroom door was closed. Nick tightened his hand on his gun as his free hand turned the knob on the door and pushed it open.  
  
The room was dark and empty. The bed was made and looked like it hadn't been slept in.  
  
Something was very wrong. Nick thought worriedly as he took out his cell phone and hit the speed dial for Sara's number.  
  
Voicemail.  
  
Nick disconnected and hit the button for Grissom's number.  
  
Sara was in trouble, Nick could feel it.  
  
*********  
  
8 a.m.  
  
An hour later Gil Grissom stood just inside the doorway to Sara's apartment. Brass was outside interviewing neighbors.  
  
"I want to be the one processing this."Nick muttered as they watched part of the dayside CSI unit canvas the living room.  
  
Grissom nodded. "I know, so do I. But I have to agree with Covallo on this. I don't want anything to interfere with finding Sara and if that means we sit on the sidelines than we sit on the sidelines."  
  
Nick moved a few steps from his boss. Not really pacing but he couldn't stand still any longer. "That's bull, Grissom and you know it. Covallo's playing politics. Sara needs us......we can be objective."  
  
Grissom was feeling exactly what Nick was feeling. He hated standing here helpless. He had known Sara longer than the rest of them and it was killing him not to be doing something, anything to help her. But Grissom also knew that if they wanted to stay involved in this case in any way they had to play politics.  
  
"Can you?"Grissom demanded noticing they were drawing wary looks from their colleagues but he didn't care. "Could you be objective if you had to process Sara's blood from a carpet fiber? Pull her hair from a wrench?"  
  
Nick winced but held his ground. If she'd been missing since Warrick dropped her off last night she'd been gone eight hours. He didn't care about his job or his career......standing here wasn't doing anything to bring his friend home.  
  
"It'd be hard as hell but yeah I'd be able to if it'd bring Sara through that door that much faster!"Nick replied his voice rising with each word.  
  
"If you're truly her friend, Nick, you'll let this be handled by the book."  
  
"What is it with you two?"Catherine demanded as she and Warrick stepped into the apartment. "I could hear you all the way down the hall."  
  
Nick whirled to face the older woman. "Grissom pulled us off of this. We can't process anything that's brought from here."  
  
"You know that's procedure, Nick."Catherine replied gently. "If the team's personally involved they can't process any evidence."  
  
Nick threw up his hands in frustration. "So we just sit here and do nothing?"  
  
"If it's the only way we can help Sara, then yes."Catherine replied though she hated it as much as Nick did.  
  
"I'm going to go talk to Brass."Warrick stated as he turned and left the apartment.  
  
"And I'm going to make a few phone calls."Grissom added as he pulled out his cell phone and followed Brown out into the bright morning daylight.  
  
**********  
  
Nine hours missing  
  
"Viv?"Jack Malone called as he stepped out of his office. "Make plane reservations for everybody. We just got a priority."  
  
"Where?"The black woman asked as she met her boss's pace.  
  
"Vegas. A CSI's disappeared."  
  
"I'll try to get the next flight."Vivian replied as she grabbed the nearest phone. "How long has the CSI been missing?"  
  
"Nine hours."Jack stated as he moved into the bullpen. "Everybody go home pack a bag we got a priority."  
  
"Who?"Martin asked as he grabbed his suit jacket off the back of a chair.  
  
"A Vegas CSI has disappared."Jack explained as he handed out an 8x10 photo. "Sara Sidle, age thirty-one, single. I'll fill you in on the rest once we're in the air. Viv's trying to get the first flight so try to be back here in half an hour."  
  
The group dispersed leaving Jack to study the photo of the missing woman.   
  
"So how did this get flagged as a priority?"Vivian asked as she walked up behind her boss.  
  
Jack motioned to the picture. "This is Sara Sidle. Her boss is Gil Grissom. I worked a case with him a few years back, he called in a favor."  
  
Vivian nodded as she shrugged into her coat. "I managed to get all of us on the same flight. Leaves in an hour and a half. But it's a direct flight we won't have to deal with any layovers. I'll be back in twenty minutes."  
  
"Thanks, Viv."Jack replied as he put Sara's photo in a manilla file folder and walked back to his office to retrieve his jacket.  
  
********  
  
Jack had almost reached the ticket counter when he heard someone call his name. Turning he saw Samantha Spade walking toward him pulling a small suitcase behind her.  
  
"Sam, what are you doing here?"Jack asked as soon as the blonde came within earshot.  
  
Sam's eyes narrowed slightly as she shifted her purse to her other arm. "Danny called me. I've been cleared to return to duty."  
  
Jack shook his head. "Not field duty."  
  
Sam sighed. "I'll sit in the Vegas office if I have to. Jack, I'm going stir crazy just sitting at home. My leg is almost back to normal."  
  
"What about your physical therapy?"Jack asked. He wasn't trying to keep her out. He just didn't want her to push herself too hard too soon.  
  
"I can have my doctor recommend somebody in Vegas if we're there longer than a week."Sam replied as she shifted her purse from one arm to the other.  
  
Jack met her gaze for a long moment before turning his attention back to the ticket counter. "I'll see if they have any seats left on this flight."  
  
Sam's face visibly relaxed. "Thank you, Jack."  
  
Jack nodded and moved toward one of the ticket agents. 


	2. chapter two

Title: Barely Existing  
  
Author: Cindy Ryan  
  
catagory: angst, Xover  
  
pairings: Jack/Sam, Grissom/Sara  
  
Summary: After 'Play with fire' Sara vanishes, Grissom calls in a favor  
  
Notes: See part one  
  
10 a.m.  
  
Nick sat at a table in the break room. A stack of folders in front of him and a pile of papers to his right. He had sat in the trace lab for nearly an hour staring at the same slide through a microscope. When he realized he hadn't looked at more than one slide for that long a period of time Nick had given up and retreated to the break room.  
  
If he couldn't concentrate on evidence maybe he could concentrate on paperwork.  
  
"Hey,Nick."  
  
Stokes looked up to see Greg standing in the door way his hands bandaged. "Hey, Greg. I didn't think you were back to work yet."  
  
The lab tech shook his head as he stepped into the room. "I'm not. Warrick called and told me about Sara.....is there anything new?"  
  
Nick tossed down his pen and leaned back in his chair as he shook his head wearily. "No. Brass hasn't turned up any witnesses. They're still sifting through the prints in her apartment. But no blood or fibers or hair were found."  
  
Greg sank down into the chair across from Nick. "I guess nowhere is safe any more."  
  
Nick caught the sadness in his friend's voice. "How are you doing?"  
  
Greg held up his bandaged hands. "Maybe if I keep these till Halloween I'll have a ready made costume."  
  
"Greg....."  
  
Sanders stood. "I'm okay, Nick. Just tired. You know me I bounce back from anything. Just keep me in the loop if there's anything on Sara."  
  
"I will."Nick promised. "Get some rest."  
  
"I think I'll hang around here for awhile."Greg stated as he walked out of the break room. "See if I can do anything to help."  
  
Nick watched the younger man leave. A worried frown crossing his face. Greg had just started to recover both physically and emotionally from the explosion. Nick could only hope that Sara's disappearance wouldn't be too much of an added strain.  
  
**********  
  
Ten hours missing  
  
Homicide Captain Jim Brass stood just inside the doorway to Gil Grissom's office file folder in hand. More than anything he hated spinning his wheels. Especially when a friend's life was at stake.  
  
"Tell me you have something."Grissom said as he sat down on the corner of his desk taking off his glasses.  
  
Brass shook his head. "Wish I could. None of the neighbors saw or heard anything. Her Tahoe's still at the repair shop. None of her friends have talked to her in the last two days outside of a quick phone call. Her parents last contact with Sara was almost three weeks ago. There was one message on her answering machine but it was a wrong number."  
  
Grissom rubbed a hand over his face before saying. "Somebody can't have just grabbed her without leaving any evidence. There has to be something."  
  
"So far there isn't."Brass said as he leaned against the back of one of the visitors chairs.  
  
"You said there was one message on her machine."Grissom stated. "What about her cell?"  
  
"Haven't found it."Brass replied. "If it was left on when the perp grabbed her we could trace the signal but the technology is still cagey at best."  
  
"Try anyway."Grissom replied grimly. "Right now it's all we have."  
  
"I have every officer available working on this."Brass assured his friend. "We'll find her."  
  
"Jim."Grissom called halting the police detective in the doorway. "I don't want to step on your toes but I called you in some back up."  
  
"Who?"Brass asked as he turned back.  
  
"Jack Malone. He's head of the missing persons unit for the FBI."Grissom replied. "They should be here in a couple hours."  
  
"Okay."Brass acknowledged.  
  
"It's not that I don't trust your department to bring Sara home."Grissom explained as he stood. "I just wanted to explore every avenue available."  
  
"I understand."Brass said quietly. "The Feds can do more than we can as far as the search goes. I'll help them any way I can."  
  
"Thanks Jim."  
  
  
  
********  
  
Sara struggled to stay awake. She knew she had a concussion at the very least.  
  
Her arms ached from being tied behind her back for so long. Her knees weren't any better for being pushed against a wall at an odd angle.  
  
Sara had no idea where she was or who had taken her. The memories of her abduction were fuzzy. But one thing that came through clear was the fear.  
  
She'd never felt anything like it.  
  
Sara hated the fact that she was scared. But she was. But she vowed never to let her captor see that she was afraid.  
  
She'd never let him have that victory.  
  
********  
  
"I've been trying your cell for the past hour."Catherine commented as she ducked under the crime scene tape that barricaded Sara's front door and stepped into the living room.  
  
Grissom looked up from his spot by the small kitchen counter. He fished his phone out of his jacket pocket and looked at the display.   
  
"Sorry, battery's dead."Grissom replied distractedly as he replaced the phone. "Has Brass found......"  
  
Catherine shook her head. "No. I was just worried about you."  
  
Grissom tossed down the stack of mail he had been sifting through. "I'm not the one that's missing."  
  
"Gil......"  
  
Grissom walked toward the front door and stepped past Catherine. He paused and leaned against the doorway. The dayside CSI unit had finished with the apartment an hour before. No evidence found, no evidence left to damage.  
  
As Grissom stared out the open doorway he couldn't help but wonder if Sara had even made it through her front door before this person had grabbed her. Had she put her key in the lock or had he ripped the keys out of her hand? Had he chrlorphormed her or used a more violent method to subdue her?  
  
Catherine came up behind her friend and placed a gentle hand on his right shoulder. "Gil?"  
  
"Had you talked with her since the explosion?"Grissom asked his voice hoarse and full of worry.  
  
Catherine shook her head as she moved to stand next to him. "Just briefly in the break room or the locker room. I'd been meaning to see if she wanted to grab dinner one night with Lindsey and me but time just got away from me."  
  
"Things had been strained between Sara and I since the explosion."Grissom confided.  
  
Catherine raised an eyebrow. "She didn't mention anything."  
  
"I handled things badly."Grissom replied quietly. "She had stopped by my office and asked if I wanted to go out to dinner."  
  
Catherine nodded in understanding. "And you said no."  
  
"It sounds lame, but I didn't want to take a chance at ruining our friendship."Grissom stated hating how the words sounded. There had always been something between Sara and him but he'd never been able to define it.  
  
"Maybe if I had taken the chance she wanted me to take."Grissom continued his voice catching. "I could've done something to protect her...."  
  
"No matter how much we want to some times we can't see into the future."Catherine replied softly. "Roads not taken don't always mean we get to avoid the bad stuff."  
  
Grissom slammed his right hand against the door frame causing Catherine to jump slightly. "I just can't believe there's nothing here for us to work with. Every crime leaves something behind."  
  
Catherine tugged at his right arm. "Come on, lets get out of here."  
  
Grissom caught the expression on her face. "You have an idea?"  
  
"When does your Fed buddy get here?"Catherine asked as she ducked under the yellow tape.  
  
Grissom glanced at his watch as he ducked under the tape and came to stand next to her in the hallway. It was twelve thirty. "If they're not delayed should be here about two."  
  
"Covollo may have banned us from working the evidence."Catherine replied as they walked down the hall. "But he can't stop us from getting together on our free time."  
  
Catherine pulled her cell phone out of her purse and tossed it to her boss. "We're going to brain storm. Tell everybody to meet at my house."  
  
For the first time all morning Grissom smiled. It felt good to finally be doing something to find Sara.   
  
*******  
  
"How long before we land?"Martin asked tiredly as he tried to find a more comfortable position in his chair.  
  
Danny stretched and tried not to knock over the can of soda that was resting on the tray in front of him. "Probably another hour or so. How much sleep have you had?"  
  
Martin grinned at his friend. "Today or this week?"  
  
Danny smiled. "Both."  
  
"About ten hours."  
  
"Get some sleep."Danny urged as he took a sip of his soda. "I'll wake in about forty minutes."  
  
"Alright."Martin agreed as he leaned back in the chair and closed his eyes. "I have a feeling we're not going to be getting much sleep during this case."  
  
Danny nodded as he turned to look out the window next to him. "I hate to say it but I agree with you. Priority cases at least in my experience are never easy." 


	3. chapter three

Title: Barely Existing  
  
Author: Cindy Ryan  
  
catagory: angst, Xover  
  
pairings: Jack/Sam, Grissom/Sara  
  
Summary: After 'Play with fire' Sara vanishes, Grissom calls in a favor  
  
Notes: See part one  
  
Thirteen hours missing  
  
1 pm  
  
Catherine glanced at the group gathered around her dining room table and realized this was the first time they'd all been at her house at the same time.  
  
Catherine sighed as she ran a weary hand along the back of her neck she'd give anything for this gathering to be a dinner party.  
  
Catherine promised herself that as soon as Sara was found they'd all be back here to celebrate.  
  
Warrick looked at the piles of computer printout laid out on the table in front of them. The volume of paper was deceiving the lack of information they had was staggering. All Warrick wanted to do was punch something to release the frustration he was feeling but he had to hold it together.  
  
Sara needed him.  
  
Grissom glanced down from the head of the table to the other end where Greg was sitting. The young man looked pale and more than a little shaky. Grissom wondered when was the last time Greg had ate anything.  
  
"Greg, you okay to do this?"Grissom asked with concern.  
  
Greg nodded. "I'm fine."  
  
"Okay."Grissom acknowledged. "Let's start with what we know."  
  
"Which isn't much."Warrick muttered voicing his earlier thoughts.  
  
Grissom looked Warrick's way but didn't reprimand him. Instead he turned toward Catherine. "Catherine, what was the last case she was working on yesterday?"  
  
Catherine picked up a piece of paper and handed it to Grissom. "Robbery at a convience store. One clerk dead, no security tape."  
  
"Suspects?"Grissom asked as he scanned the piece of paper.  
  
"None."Catherine replied quietly. "Brass's officer's are still canvassing."  
  
Grissom nodded and placed the paper down as he looked at Brown. "Warrick, what was she wearing when you dropped her off?"  
  
Warrick swallowed hard. "Black jeans, lime green short sleeved shirt, tennis shoes. She had a bracelet on, a simple gold chain."  
  
"Solid or links?"  
  
"Soild."Warrick replied.  
  
Grissom took a clean piece of paper and jotted down Nick's description. Brass already had an APB out on Sara but Gil knew that Malone would also need the information when he arrived.  
  
"Okay."Catherine stated as she stood and leaned against the table. She picked up a piece of paper and a marker. "Let's take this from two angles. One this was a crime of opportunity which is why we haven't gotten a ransom demand. Or two this was planned and he waited for her to come home."  
  
"Think this was somebody she put away?"Greg asked his mood unusually subdued.  
  
"Makes sense."Warrick commented.  
  
Nick shook his head. "If it was we would've got a ransom by now."  
  
"If all they wanted was a ransom."Grissom stated softly. "Revenge is a powerful motive as well. We've seen that many times."  
  
"Revenge players get sloppy."Catherine replied. "We would've found something at the scene."  
  
"Did we get her past files?"Nick asked as he glanced around the room.  
  
Warrick shook his head as he reached for a nearby pile of printout. "We weren't allowed. I was able to print out a list of recently paroled and cross referenced it with cases she worked on."  
  
"That's a long list."Greg commented as he started to count the number of pages Warrick was holding.  
  
"Let's divide it up."Grissom ordered as he leaned forward. "We'll go over each name one at a time."  
  
********  
  
Brass had just pulled into the parking lot of the police station when his cell phone rang.  
  
The phone was laying on the passenger seat. Brass grabbed it and flipped it open. "Brass. You got the results back from the cell trace? Nothing? You sure?  
  
Yeah, we knew it was a long shot but I still hate telling Grissom we have nothing.  
  
I'll be in, in a few minutes, Matthews. I want to update that APB on Sidle with a new picture.  
  
Maybe that'll shake something loose."  
  
***********  
  
Fourteen hours missing  
  
2 pm  
  
Jack Malone knocked on the open office doorway of Gil Grissom. Grissom glanced up from his computer screen and waived the FBI agent in.  
  
Grissom stood and walked around his desk reaching out to shake Malone's hand. "Thanks for coming, Jack."  
  
Malone nodded. "Glad I can help. I had my team set up in one of the interrogation rooms if that's alright."  
  
"That's fine."Grissom replied as he sat down on the corner of his desk.  
  
"Has there been any contact from Ms. Sidle or a possible kidnapper?"  
  
Grissom shook his head as he reached for a piece of paper resting on his desk. "No, but we cross-referenced recent parolees against cases Sara had worked on and came up with these three names. I also wrote on there what Sara was wearing when she was last seen."  
  
Jack took the paper and skimmed it. "Thanks. We'll start with interviewing your people."  
  
"Everyone's here just let me know who you want to start with."  
  
"I'll also need to take a look at her apartment."Jack stated.  
  
"I'll have someone available to take you."  
  
Jack nodded and headed toward the door. "Let me brief my people and then we'll start the interviews with you."  
  
Grissom's voice halted the agent in the doorway. "Jack, do you think she's still alive?"  
  
Jack heard the hope mixed with grief in the older man's voice as he turned. It was a tone and a question he'd heard many times over the years. It was never any easier to answer.  
  
Malone nodded. "I think there's a good chance. I'll let you know when we're ready."  
  
*********  
  
As Jack entered the interrogation room Martin was pinning Sara's picture up on the white dry board.  
  
Jack passed a piece of paper to Vivian. "This is a list of three names that Grissom narrowed down from a list of parolees from cases that Sidle had worked on over the past few years."  
  
"I can run those."Martin suggested as Vivian skimmed the names.   
  
"Go ahead."Jack ordered as Vivian handed the younger man the piece of paper.  
  
"So how are we approaching this?"Vivian asked as she leaned her hands against the surface of the table.  
  
"Viv, I want you to head over to Sidle's apartment. See if she had a computer we'll need to look at that."Jack replied quietly."Danny, you and I are going to interview her coworkers starting with Grissom. Martin, I want you to go over to the Vegas police department and talk to Jim Brass  
  
he's the lead who's been handling this investigation so far.   
  
Sam, track down Sara's family find out when they last heard from her." 


	4. chapter four

Title: Barely Existing  
  
Author: Cindy Ryan  
  
catagory: angst, Xover  
  
pairings: Jack/Sam, Grissom/Sara  
  
Summary: After 'Play with fire' Sara vanishes, Grissom calls in a favor  
  
Notes: See part one. Thanks for the feedback. :) Two chapters posted since I'll be offline  
  
this weekend. :)  
  
Fifteen hours missing  
  
3 pm  
  
"I know with your jobs you deal with traumatic cases all the time but was there anything within the past month that Sara might have found hard to investigate?"Jack asked  
  
Grissom shook his head. "No. Sara and Greg were injured in a lab explosion a few weeks ago."  
  
"Was she seriously hurt?"Danny inquired as he jotted down notes on a small pad of paper in front of him.  
  
"She had a cut on her hand that required stitches and a gash on her forehead. Greg was in the lab itself and was more seriously injured."  
  
"Did Sara witness the explosion?"Jack asked.  
  
Grissom had to concentrate as Jack's voice faded from his hearing. From what he had been able to lip read he guestimated what the question had been.  
  
"She was walking past when the explosion occurred."  
  
"Had she talked to anyone about the ordeal?"Danny questioned as he leaned forward.  
  
"Not that I'm aware of. She seemed fine."Grissom replied hoping his words didn't sound as hallow to them as it did to him. He should've checked up on her. He had been meaning too. But everyone's attention was focused on Greg's recovery and rebuilding the lab.  
  
"You have to know Sara."Gil continued as he met Jack's gaze. "She's strong, independent. When I came across her in the parking lot after the explosion. I had to insist that she get her hand looked at. Her first concern was with the cleanup in the lab."  
  
"So there was no indication that she wanted to take off for a few days?"Danny asked as he leaned the eraser end of the pencil against the paper. "To get away, clear her head?"  
  
"No."Grissom replied as he started to stand. "She and everyone else here have been pulling double shifts for the last week trying to get caught up. Trying to get cases reorganized. The breakfast she was having with Nick the next morning was the first free time they'd had in days."  
  
Jack held his hand up trying to calm things down. "We're just trying to get a picture of what her state of mind was."  
  
Danny nodded. "It's standard procedure. We need to rule things out."  
  
Grissom sat back down slowly. "I'm sorry. I know it's procedure.....I just....I just hate sitting here and not be out there looking for her."  
  
"We're doing everything we can."Jack assured the older man. "These interviews are the first step so we can get a feel of who Sara is, what her moods were that day."  
  
"I know."Grissom replied quietly.  
  
"Had she dated any one recently?"Taylor asked.  
  
Grissom shook his head. "Last serious boyfriend she had was a paramedic named Hank Peddigrew."  
  
Jack exchanged a look with Danny who nodded and set down his pencil."I think that's all we need right now."  
  
Grissom stood. "Who do you want to talk to next?"  
  
Jack looked down at the open file folder on the table in front of him. "Nick Stokes."  
  
"I'll send him in."Grissom replied as he left.  
  
Danny stood and sat down on the edge of the table as he absently tapped the pencil against his palm. "Do you want me to look into the suicide angle?"  
  
Jack shook his head. "No, not yet. Let us do a few more interviews."  
  
"You don't have too."Nick stated from the doorway trying to keep the anger out of his voice and failing. "Sara would never take her own life."  
  
*******  
  
Brass waved Martin Fitzgerald into his office as he said. "Have a seat."  
  
"Thanks."Martin replied as he sat in one of the visitor's chairs.  
  
"I pulled what information I have on the Sidle disappearance."Jim said trying to keep his voice professional. "I also put a new picture on the APB. The only one I had to work with last night was her driver license photo."  
  
Martin nodded as he took the file folder. "Do you know Sara?"  
  
Brass leaned forward resting one arm on the surface of the desk. "Yeah. She's a nice person, smart as hell CSI and a bit of a work-a-holic. I hope you guys can find her."  
  
"I hope so too."Martin replied sincerly as he stood. "Thank you."  
  
"Let me know if we can do anything to assist."Brass said quietly.  
  
Martin nodded. "I will."he promised as he turned and left the office.  
  
*******  
  
Danny decided to take a different approach as Nick stepped into the room. "People hide things."  
  
Nick shook his head as he came to stand next to the table. "Not something like that. We're a close knit group around here, Agent Taylor. If Sara was hurting that much she would've come to one of us."  
  
"Are you sure of that?"Jack asked as he leaned back against the wall watching the younger man's reaction.   
  
"Yes."Nick replied trying to calm himself down. Flying off the handle at the Feds wasn't going to bring Sara home any faster. "I saw her last night. She was fine."  
  
"Was she?"Danny asked as he looked back at his notes. "Grissom told us you'd been working a lot of hours."  
  
Nick's eyes narrowed sharply. "Everybody was. There was an explosion here a couple weeks back. Destroyed a lot of evidence. Took awhile to get cases reorganized and we still had new cases to work on."  
  
Danny nodded. "Sounds like a lot of stress. From what I understand she was injured in the explosion. Not taking any time off afterwards. Long hours."  
  
"I had worked with her closely on a couple cases over the last few days."Nick countered."If something was wrong I would've seen it. Sara's one of the strongest people I know."  
  
"Even strong people crack."Jack stated softly."Had she had any trouble recently? A case gone bad? Threats? Ex-boyfriend that didn't want to let go?"  
  
Nick shook his head. "No, outside of the explosion things were normal."  
  
"And you were the one that reported her missing?"Danny asked.  
  
Nick nodded grimly. "Yeah. We had made plans to grab breakfast before shift. Her Tahoe's in the shop so I said I'd pick her up. I got there and the door was unlocked."  
  
"Was the door open?"Jack inquired.  
  
Nick shook his head. "No. It was closed. It opened easily when I knocked. She's never that careless to leave it unlocked."  
  
"Did she keep a spare key outside?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Do you know where she keeps one?"Jack asked as he moved away from the wall.  
  
"With the hours we work."Nick explained. "Some of us, Warrick, me and Catherine decided to keep spare keys at the other's houses. Just in case. That way nobody would be vulernable at that time of night."  
  
"Okay."Jack acknowledged as he walked toward Nick. "Can you tell Warrick Brown to come in?"  
  
Nick nodded as he walked to the doorway. "You're wrong about Sara. She didn't disappear on her own and she didn't take her own life. She's out there somewhere in trouble."  
  
"We'll do our best to find her."Jack assured the younger man.  
  
Nick looked from one agent to the other and back again before the turned and left the room.  
  
"I don't think he has much confidence in us."Danny stated wryly as he stood and stretched.  
  
Jack shook his head wearily. "I don't blame him. The evidence we have to work with is thin to say the least."  
  
"We've worked with less."  
  
"Yeah." 


	5. chapter five

Title: Barely Existing  
  
Author: Cindy Ryan  
  
catagory: angst, Xover  
  
pairings: Jack/Sam, Grissom/Sara  
  
Summary: After 'Play with fire' Sara vanishes, Grissom calls in a favor  
  
Notes: See part one. Thanks for the feedback. :)   
  
Seventeen hours missing  
  
5 pm  
  
Vivian Johnson walked through the living room of Sara Sidle's one bedroom apartment. It was sparsely furnished but tastefully decorated. A sign of a work-a-holic who didn't spend as much time home as she'd like. Was a place to sleep, not much thought to furniture or decoration.  
  
Framed pictures of family and friends scattered about table surfaces. Vivian moved through the apartment and found the young woman's computer resting on the foot of the bed.  
  
Vivian picked up the laptop and turned it on. She walked back into the living room and sat down at the small kitchen table. Vivian pulled up the email program.  
  
As she waited for the program to load Vivian glanced around the apartment and she couldn't help but wonder what Sara was going through at that moment.  
  
***********  
  
Martin looked at the computer printout and sighed. He had checked into the whereabouts of the three names that Gil Grissom's team had come up with.  
  
Jack wasn't going to be happy with the results. They were back to square one.  
  
Gathering the papers Martin walked out the door and headed to the other interrogation room where Jack and Danny were conducting interviews.  
  
They needed a break on this case and soon and to Martin it didn't look like they were going to get one.  
  
*********  
  
Nineteen hours missing  
  
7 pm  
  
Jack Malone walked into the interrogation room that housed the white board. Danny was close behind. It was just past seven o'clock and all co-worker interviews had been completed.  
  
Jack looked across the table at Vivian who had returned a half hour before. "Let's order in some food and go over what we have."  
  
"Right."Martin acknowledged as he reached for the phone.  
  
Jack glanced at Sam who had just put one of the phones down. "Were you able to get a hold of Sidle's family?"  
  
Sam nodded. "Her parents are ex-hippies that run a bed and breakfast outside of San Francisco. They're getting the next flight available. No siblings."  
  
Jack sat down across from Vivian. "Good. We'll get the flight number so we can have somebody pick them up when they arrive."  
  
"Already taken care of."Sam replied with a smile as she leaned back in her chair.  
  
Danny stood. "I'll find us some coffee and soda. I have a feeling we're going to need all the caffeine we can get tonight."  
  
*********  
  
Grissom walked into the breakroom to find it empty except for Warrick and Nick.  
  
Warrick saw the file folder in Grissom's hand and shook his head. "Don't even tell me we have a case."  
  
Grissom smiled briefly but it didn't quite reach his eyes as he walked toward them. "Think of it as a distraction."  
  
Nick reluctantly took the folder. "Can't believe Covallo still wants us to work cases."  
  
Grissom sank down onto the edge of the table. "We're stretched thin as it is, Nick, you know that. Despite how we feel about Sara cases still need to be processed."  
  
Warrick glanced wearily at the folder Nick was holding. "What is it anyway?"  
  
"Nothing you two can't handle."Grissom replied as he stood. "Casino robbery gone bad. Two dead."  
  
"Great."Warrick grumbled as he stood and reached for his coat.  
  
"Hey Gris,"Nick called halting the older man in the doorway. "You okay?"  
  
Grissom nodded. "Yeah, fine. I'll call you if there's an update on Sara."  
  
"Thanks."  
  
Warrick watched Grissom leave and shook his head. "He's not fine."  
  
Nick stood and reached for his coat. "Nobody is. We're all hanging by a thread until we know if Sara's okay and that thread is getting thinner by the minute."  
  
Warrick took out his car keys and headed toward the door. "Let's go. I'll buy the coffee. I don't think I can stand on my own any more without an influx of caffeine." 


	6. chapter six

Title: Barely Existing  
  
Author: Cindy Ryan  
  
catagory: angst, Xover  
  
pairings: Jack/Sam, Grissom/Sara  
  
Summary: After 'Play with fire' Sara vanishes, Grissom calls in a favor  
  
Notes: See part one. Thanks for the feedback. :)   
  
The delivery guy arrived twenty minutes later with three brown bags of food. "Here you go."  
  
"Thanks."Danny replied as he took the bags from him and set them on the table. He turned back to hand the teen some money.  
  
"So how did the co-worker interviews go?"Sam asked after the delivery guy left.   
  
"Pretty well."Jack replied as he moved to close the door. "But they didn't exactly reveal any new leads."  
  
"I'll pull up their work records see if we get any hits."Sam stated as she pulled a laptop closer.  
  
"The three names Grissom gave us amounted to nothing."Martin replied frustration clearly in his voice. "One's still incarcerated, one's dead and one had a solid alibi."  
  
"How solid?"Vivian asked as she took a carton of Chinese food out of the bag.  
  
"Solid.He was being arrested for leading the state cops on a three county chase."  
  
"Why did he run?"Danny asked through a mouthful of food.  
  
Martin smirked. "Expired license."  
  
Jack looked at Vivian. "Was there anything on her computer?"  
  
Vivian shook her head. "Most of the email was deleted. Techs are running it now to pull up deleted mail and any recent chat logs."  
  
Jack nodded. "Good."he replied as he glanced at the white board.  
  
The white board had three lines on it:  
  
Explosion in DNA/Chem lab three weeks previous  
  
Brown drops Sidle at home--12:15 am  
  
Stokes discovers Sidle missing--7 am  
  
"Maybe this was a random act."Sam commented as she keyed through the employment files. "Sara was just in the wrong place at the wrong time."  
  
"But random acts are sloppy."Danny protested. "Which is why this whole thing doesn't make any sense. If it was a random grab there would've been something left behind to work with. Piece of fabric, shoe print, finger print, something."  
  
"We don't have the prints back from her apartment yet so we could get something from there."Jack stated as he reached for a carton of   
  
food."Sometimes random acts get lucky.And it appears that this person was very lucky. But we're going to find a way to track them."  
  
Vivian put down her fork as she looked at her boss. "She's been gone nearly twenty hours, Jack. If this was a random grab....."  
  
"I know."Malone replied grimly. "But I have a feeling this case is going to beat the odds."  
  
********  
  
20 hours missing  
  
8 pm  
  
Catherine tapped lightly on Grissom's open office door. "Hey, you want to grab dinner?"  
  
Grissom shook his head as he sat behind his desk. "Not hungry."  
  
"Neither am I."Catherine replied as she stepped into the room. "But I can't take wandering around here much longer. It'll do both of us good to get out of here. The Feds have our cell numbers. They'll call us if they need something."  
  
Grissom hesitated than nodded as he stood. "Alright. Let's go."  
  
*******  
  
Sara jerked awake so fast that her head connected with the cement ceiling of the small room she was in.  
  
She hadn't meant to fall asleep. She didn't even remember doing so.  
  
Sara blinked her eyes wearily against the pitch blackness of the room. She wished she knew what time it was. She had no idea how long she'd been stuck in here.   
  
She had no idea if anyone was looking for her.  
  
Or if anybody had even noticed she was gone.  
  
Sara felt her eyes grow heavy and for the first time she didn't fight it. 


	7. chapter seven

Sorry for the delay between chapters. I've been fighting a nasty cold this week.  
  
Title: Barely Existing  
  
Author: Cindy Ryan  
  
catagory: angst, Xover  
  
pairings: Jack/Sam, Grissom/Sara  
  
Summary: After 'Play with fire' Sara vanishes, Grissom calls in a favor  
  
Notes: See part one. Thanks for the feedback. :)   
  
Greg sank down onto the sofa in the breakroom. He had waited until the room was empty. While he appreciated everybody's concern Greg just needed a few minutes to rest without questions about his well-being.  
  
After a few minutes Greg picked up the nearby remote and clicked on the tv to a local station. He immediately wished he hadn't as he saw Sara's familiar face appear above the left shoulder of a red haired female reporter.  
  
".....to keep you updated on this breaking story. Crime scene investigator Sara Sidle has been missing since late last night. The police have no leads and no suspects in custody.  
  
This news team has learned that the FBI missing persons unit has been called in from New York City to investigate. We will keep you posted if there are any further developments.....now back to your regular...."  
  
Greg clicked off the tv and angrily tossed the remote to the other side of the sofa.  
  
Sara was in trouble. Held somewhere at the hands of a maniac and they couldn't do anything to help her.  
  
Greg leaned back against the sofa and closed his eyes. It just wasn't fair. After all they had done to help others they were helpless to do anything for one of their own.  
  
*******  
  
"Anything in the employment files?"Martin asked.  
  
Sam nodded as she scrolled through several screens. "Wasn't Warrick Brown the last to see her?"  
  
"Yeah he dropped her off around midnight."Danny replied. "Why? Something interesting?"  
  
"Let's just say he has a checkered past."Sam stated as she hit the command to print. "For starters he was nearly demoted for a gambling problem."  
  
Martin leaned over and pulled the paper from the printer. "And not to mention the rookie CSI that got killed when he disappeared from a crime scene."  
  
Jack looked over at Vivian. "Bring Brown in again. And pull up his financial records. If he's in debt and dealing with the wrong people we might have found our reason for Sidle's disappearance."  
  
*******  
  
Grissom took a bite of the club sandwich and immediately set it back down on the plate pushing it aside. The food had no taste to it at all.  
  
Catherine glanced over at him as they sat in a small coffee shop. "Is it bad? We can send it back."  
  
Grissom shook his head as he placed the napkin on the table and began to gather his coat. "No."  
  
"Gil?"Catherine asked worriedly.  
  
Grissom didn't reply as he stood and quickly left the coffee shop.  
  
Catherine tossed a few bills on the table and grabbed her coat and quickly followed her friend out into the night.  
  
"Grissom?"Catherine called as she finally caught up with him at her Tahoe.  
  
"Give me the keys, Cath."  
  
"Why?"Catherine asked though she had a pretty good idea what he was thinking.  
  
Grissom's eyes flashed. "I'm giving you an order."  
  
"And I'm disobeying it."Catherine replied sharply. "Talk to me, Gil."  
  
Catherine jumped as Grissom slammed his right fist into the driver's door of the Tahoe.  
  
"I have to be out there looking for her."Grissom replied quietly not noticing the redness on his knuckles.  
  
Catherine placed a gentle hand on his right arm. "And where would you start?"  
  
Grissom threw up his hands. "I don't know. I'll drive around the whole county if I have to."  
  
"I'd give you the keys if I knew we had a chance in hell."Catherine replied as she shoved her hands deeper into her coat's pockets. "We don't even know if she's still in Nevada."  
  
"Or if she's still alive."Grissom stated grimly as he looked out at the horizon.  
  
"Gil....."  
  
"I can't leave her out there alone, Cath."Grissom replied his voice threatening to break.  
  
"We won't."Catherine replied fighting her own tears. "Sara's a fighter. And she's going to hang on until we can find her and bring her home." 


	8. chapter 8

Title: Barely Existing  
  
Author: Cindy Ryan  
  
catagory: angst, Xover  
  
pairings: Jack/Sam, Grissom/Sara  
  
Summary: After 'Play with fire' Sara vanishes, Grissom calls in a favor  
  
Notes: See part one. Thanks for the feedback. :)   
  
22 hours missing  
  
(10 pm)  
  
Warrick Brown glanced around the casino of the Mirage. It was weird to see the place deserted except for police and the CSI unit. All employees on duty had been quarteened in the bar and were being interviewed by detectives.  
  
The two DB's were the would be thieves. One female, blonde hair, normal build approximately twenty-five was sprawled by the roulette table.   
  
The other a white male same age range about six foot two, shoulder length brown hair was across the room by the slot machines.  
  
Both were clad in blue jeans and t-shirts.  
  
The money bags were ripped open and laid between them like confetti.  
  
They had made the fatal mistake of pointing their guns at a security officer.  
  
The guard had shot them down before any innocent fatalities could occur.  
  
Warrick was about to kneel back down by the male vic when he glanced over at Nick. Nick had already begun processing the female vic but as Warrick looked now something wasn't right. Warrick raced across the room and snagged Nick's right wrist just in time.  
  
Nick angrily shook him off. "What the hell are you doing?"  
  
"Saving your ass and this case."Warrick replied as he squatted down next to the body.  
  
"What are you babbling about?"  
  
Warrick raised an eyebrow as he gestured to Nick's bare hands. "Gloves, Nick. You don't have any gloves on. You were about to process the vic's shirt barehanded."  
  
Dumbfounded Nick looked down at his hands and saw Warrick was right. He could've sworn he had grabbed a pair of latex gloves from his kit. Nick rocked back on his heels and leaned his back against the nearby wall.  
  
"Thanks."  
  
"No problem."  
  
"I can't believe I did that."Nick stated shaking his head. "That's a rookie mistake."  
  
"Don't worry about it."Warrick replied softly. "We've been up for nearly thirty-six hours. It happens. I won't tell Grissom. But what were you thinking not grabbing gloves?"  
  
Nick met his friend's gaze then looked down at the body of the young woman. "I wasn't.....I could've sworn I had grabbed the gloves out of the kit. Then I had this flash...."  
  
Warrick frowned. "Flash of what?"  
  
"I don't know. Nightmare, maybe."Nick replied his voice shaky and rough. "We were processing a scene but we weren't here. This body wasn't here.....instead it was Sara's......"  
  
Warrick swallowed hard. "Don't think like that."  
  
"I'm the last person that wants to give up on Sara."Nick stated as he looked down at the body. "But maybe...."  
  
Warrick shook his head as he stood. "Don't start thinking like that or you'll drive yourself crazy. Sara's still got time and she needs us thinking clearly. You okay to do this?"  
  
Nick ran a hand through his hair before he nodded. "Yeah."  
  
"Okay."  
  
Warrick returned to the male robber. He wasn't judging Nick for reacting to the crime scene the way he did. They were all going through hell. Some hide it better than others.  
  
For Warrick he was trying very hard to cling to the slim hope that they'd have Sara back among them soon.  
  
Because if they lost Sara this way it'd destroy the team. And for Warrick that was a possibility he didn't want to live with.  
  
************  
  
Catherine returned to the lab her footsteps heavy. She had left Grissom in his office. She had made an attempt to get him to go home and get some rest but he had flatly refused.  
  
As Catherine passed the breakroom she did a doubletake. She poked her head in the small room to find Greg curled up on the sofa sound asleep. His injured hands cradled against his chest.  
  
Catherine knew Greg didn't blame her for his injuries but she still felt guilty. She walked over to a closet on the left side of the breakroom and pulled out a gray blanket.  
  
Catherine walked over to the sofa and unfolded the blanket and gently covered the young man with it. Just as she turned away Greg's eyes opened and he looked at her sleepily.  
  
"Hey."  
  
"Hey."  
  
"Any news on Sara?"Greg asked worriedly.  
  
Catherine shook her head sadly. "No, nothing."  
  
"What time is it?"  
  
"Almost ten thirty."Catherine replied as she walked toward the doorway. "Get some rest. I'll wake you if there's any news."  
  
"Thanks."Greg acknowledged and he could already feel his eyelids grow heavy.  
  
"You're welcome."Catherine replied softly. She stood in the doorway for a moment longer before she turned and stepped out into the hallway.  
  
********  
  
Warrick came to stand next to Nick his cell phone in hand. "I gotta head back in."  
  
Nick frowned at the grim expression on his friend's face. "What's going on?"  
  
"I don't know."Warrick replied. "Feds want to talk to me again."  
  
Nick raised an eyebrow. "They say why?"  
  
Warrick shook his head as he started to walk away. "They're Feds, they never say why. I'll be back as soon as I can." 


	9. chapter nine

Title: Barely Existing  
  
Author: Cindy Ryan  
  
catagory: angst, Xover  
  
pairings: Jack/Sam, Grissom/Sara  
  
Summary: After 'Play with fire' Sara vanishes, Grissom calls in a favor  
  
Notes: See part one. Thanks for the feedback. :)   
  
23 hours missing   
  
11 pm  
  
Danny replaced the receiver of the phone and looked at Jack, "Brown's on his way back in. Peddigew's at Mercy just finished a run should be here in half an hour."  
  
Jack nodded. "Good. Martin you and Sam take Peddigew. Vivian you and Danny question Brown."  
  
Sam pulled a few sheets of paper from the fax machine and handed them to Vivian. "Brown's financials came in."  
  
Vivian took the papers and began to skim through them. "Looks typical....car loan, two credit cards, student loan.....wait a minute he paid his student loans in full a month ago."  
  
Martin raised an eyebrow. "How much did he owe?"  
  
"Still had close to twenty-thousand. Payments up until then were a hundred a month."  
  
"Rattle him."Jack ordered. "Sidle's running out of time. If her friend is connected we need to know who he owes money to."  
  
**********  
  
"Thanks for coming in."Martin greeted as Hank Peddigew entered the small room and sat down behind the table. "I know you just got off shift you need anything to drink? Soda? Coffee?"  
  
Hank shook his head. "No, I'm fine. I'm assuming this is about Sara?"  
  
"You heard she was missing?"Sam asked.  
  
"Hard to miss been all over the news. Besides even if it weren't the Vegas police department is close knit. Would've heard the rumors before the shift ended."  
  
"We understand you and Sara have a past."Martin asked as he moved to stand by the wall.  
  
Hank shrugged. "We dated for a few months. With our professions it's hard to find people that you connect with."  
  
"Really?"Sam asked. "You seemed to connect well with Elaine Alcott."  
  
Hank shifted uncomfortably. "I never meant to hurt Sara."  
  
"So dating two women at the same time just happened?"Martin inquired.  
  
Hank met Martin's gaze. "Yeah, it did. Sara found out about Elaine and we ended it. Elaine and I are still together."  
  
"Maybe she found out about you and Sara and decided to get revenge."Sam said as she looked down at the papers in front of her. "We can pull phone records...."  
  
"Don't bother."Hank replied curtly. "Elaine and I were booked at the Paris. We never left the room."  
  
*******  
  
"Did you find a lead on Sara?"Warrick asked as he stepped into the interrogation room.  
  
"Have a seat, Mr. Brown."Vivian ordered.  
  
Warrick's eyes narrowed as he remained standing. "What's going on?"  
  
Danny folded his arms across his chest. "You want us to cut to the chase?"  
  
Warrick nodded. "That'd be refreshing."  
  
"Fine. We feel that you're the reason Sara Sidle was abducted."  
  
Warrick's eyes widened. "You gotta be kidding me."  
  
Neither agent moved expressions grim.  
  
Warrick started toward the door. "You're wasting everybody's time including Sara's lookin' into me."  
  
"So you're saying you don't owe money?"Vivian asked halting Warrick's hand on the door handle.  
  
Warrick whirled around. "Everybody owes money. It's called debt."  
  
"And most people don't pay off twenty-thousand dollars in one lump sum."  
  
Warrick blinked. "You're desperate enough to look into my student loans? You should be focusing your mighty resources on finding the people responsible for taking Sara."  
  
"You're not very bright for a CSI."Vivian replied as she took several steps forward. "Let me spell it out for you. We think Sara was taken because you were the last person to see her. You owe the wrong people money and they grabbed her thinking she was a weak point to you."  
  
"You're crazy. Sara and I are friends. And I don't owe anybody money except for the First Financial Bank of Las Vegas."  
  
"Yeah right."Danny countered. "The bank loans you twenty-thousand with your credit history. Sara's out there somewhere dying if she's not dead already. Now one more time which loan shark do you owe money to?"  
  
"I haven't gambled in a long time, Agent Taylor. I don't owe anybody anything."  
  
"So explain to us how someone on a CSI's salary pays off a twenty-thousand dollar debt at once?"Vivian asked as she came to stand next to Taylor.  
  
*******  
  
24 hours missing  
  
(midnight)  
  
/Why not? Let's ... let's have dinner. Let's see what happens.   
  
I don't know what to do about this.   
  
You know, by the time you figure it out, you really could be too late./  
  
Grissom leaned back against his chair and placed the palms of his hands against his eyes and rubbed them. The last conversation he'd had with Sara that hadn't been job related kept echoing through his thoughts.  
  
All she had wanted was to share a meal with him. Why hadn't he grabbed onto that chance? Grissom knew from his years in this job that life was often unfair and way too short.  
  
Sara had offered him a chance to explore something that could've resulted in pure happiness and he had shut her down.   
  
He had a good reason at the time for turning Sara away. Though now it seemed trivial and superficial.   
  
Afraid.  
  
Pure and simple Gil Grissom had been afraid. Afraid of opening himself up to something that if it didn't last would kill him.  
  
Now if he lost Sara before he had a chance to correct his mistake Grissom knew he'd never be the same. 


	10. chapter 10

Title: Barely Existing  
  
Author: Cindy Ryan  
  
catagory: angst, Xover  
  
pairings: Jack/Sam, Grissom/Sara  
  
Summary: After 'Play with fire' Sara vanishes, Grissom calls in a favor  
  
Notes: See part one. Thanks for the feedback. :)   
  
Warrick angrily stalked over to the chair and sat down. "I came into some money."  
  
Vivian walked around the table and sat down across from him. "Let me guess a dead uncle?"  
  
Danny sat on the corner of the table on the right side. "Nah, this was just a back room poker game, right Warrick?"  
  
Warrick's eyes narrowed sharply. "No. I don't gamble any more."  
  
"Sure you don't."Danny replied. "Just like you didn't gamble when Holly Gribbs was shot to death."  
  
A shadow of sadness crossed over Brown's face. "I'll regret her death for the rest of my life but I was a different person then."  
  
Vivian leaned forward. "Leopards don't change their spots. I understand that Sara was brought in to investigate your gambling. Maybe she found out you were back to your old habits. Tried to talk you out of it. But it was too late and the wrong people followed you and grabbed her until you pay up."  
  
Warrick shook his head. "That's very creative but wrong. I'll only say this one more time then I'm leaving. If I knew where Sara was I'd tell you. I haven't gambled in two years. I don't owe any loan sharks money. I paid off my student loan from an inheritance from my Uncle Harold who died at age ninety from lung cancer.  
  
Now if you'll excuse me I have a crime scene to process."  
  
Danny winced as the door slammed shut behind Brown. He turned to face his colleague. "Think he's telling the truth?"  
  
Vivian nodded. "A dead uncle is easy enough to check out. I don't think he's hiding anything. Compulsive gamblers do anything to keep their habit going. He shows no sign of that."  
  
Danny slammed the manilla folder he was holding against the table in frustration. "So we're back to square one."  
  
Vivian nodded sadly. "Unless Martin and Sam can shake something lose from the paramedic's story."  
  
*********  
  
27 hours missing  
  
(3 am)  
  
"So where are we?"Jack asked as the team regrouped in the interrogation room.  
  
"Brown's story checks."Vivian stated as she leaned against the table. "At least as far as the dead uncle. Took me awhile to find him because he wasn't a blood relative. Brown's mother died when he was seven his father has never been in the picture so he was raised by his maternal grandmother. The grandmother had a long time neighbor who died a few weeks ago.....Harold Brenner age ninety. No family, split his inheritance between Warrick and his grandmother. I confirmed it with the grandmother and Brown's bank."  
  
Jack sighed. "Okay that rules out the gambling/loan shark angle. What about the ex-boyfriend?"  
  
Sam shook her head. "Albi checks out there too. Peddigew and his current girlfriend Elaine Alcott were locked up in a suite at the Paris hotel. Room service records confirm that along with security tapes and the front desk. They never left the room until they checked out this morning."  
  
"What's our clock?"Danny asked wearily. "She disappeared after midnight yesterday....and it's now....."  
  
"Three a.m."Jack replied. "We're at twenty-seven hours. We need something to go on. Our two best leads just tanked."  
  
"It gets worse."Martin added as he picked up a piece of paper from the table and scanned it. "There were no unknown prints in the apartment."  
  
"Does that include the front door?"Vivian asked.  
  
Martin looked back down at the paper and nodded. "Yeah."  
  
"So our guy had gloves on."Danny surmised as he leaned back in his chair.  
  
"Or she never made it to her apartment at all."Martin replied quietly."We're assuming she was standing at her front door when she was grabbed."  
  
"But if she was grabbed as she was walking up to the apartment building."Danny countered. "Brown would've seen something."  
  
Jack shook his head. "Not necessarily. She could've decided to go for a walk around the block before going in."  
  
Danny rubbed a hand along the back of his neck as he stood and walked to the white board. He flipped it over and picked up a marker. "Okay, let's start back at the beginning....."  
  
"Before we do that let's canvas the block again."Jack ordered as he stood."Somebody had to have seen something. Viv, Danny go knock on some doors. Maybe if we deprive people of sleep their memories will return. Martin pull up the report on Sidle's computer and find her phone records. I want to look at those again."  
  
"Sorry to interupt."Catherine apologized as she knocked on the open doorway.  
  
Jack looked toward her. "You're not."  
  
"Can I talk to you a moment in private?"Catherine asked as Danny and Vivian stepped past her into the hallway.  
  
Jack stood. "Sure."  
  
********  
  
Catherine led Jack down the hallway to an empty unused office. "You don't have any leads do you?"  
  
Jack blinked. "We have a few things we're working on."  
  
"Like waking people up at three a.m.?"  
  
"Catherine....."  
  
"I'm sorry."Catherine apologized as she leaned against the wall. "Grissom's spoke highly of your team. I know you're doing everything you can."  
  
"But she's still your friend and you want to be out there searching."Jack acknowledged softly. "We are doing everything we can to bring Sara home."  
  
Catherine nodded. "I didn't come over here to bash your investigative skills. But now that I'm here I don't think it's my place to tell you this."  
  
"Let me be the judge of that."Jack replied quietly. "Did you remember something about Sara's actions the last few days?"  
  
Catherine shook her head as she met the FBI agent's gaze. "No, this is about her and Grissom."  
  
Jack raised an eyebrow. "Do they have a personal relationship?"  
  
Catherine folded her arms against her chest as she paced a few steps. "They have a history but I don't think it ever went as far as a relationship. She asked him out the day of the lab explosion and he turned her down."  
  
"Was she hurt by this?"Jack asked.  
  
Catherine shrugged. "I'm sure she was. But Sara often kept things to herself." 


	11. chapter 11

Title: Barely Existing  
  
Author: Cindy Ryan  
  
catagory: angst, Xover  
  
pairings: Jack/Sam, Grissom/Sara  
  
Summary: After 'Play with fire' Sara vanishes, Grissom calls in a favor  
  
Notes: See part one. Thanks for the feedback. :)   
  
29 hours missing  
  
(5 am)  
  
Sam smiled gratefully as Jack pressed a mug of cappuccino into her left hand.  
  
"Thanks."  
  
"Anytime."Jack replied as he stood next to her both of them leaning against the far wall of the interrogation room.  
  
Danny,Vivian and Martin were huddled around the table their conversation drifting back to them in snatches.  
  
"I took the pain pills an hour ago."  
  
Jack's gaze didn't move from the whiteboard. "I didn't say anything."  
  
"But you were going to."  
  
In his minds eye Jack could still see Sam laid out on the floor of that bookstore bleeding heavily from the gunshot to her leg. Her face white as a sheet.  
  
"I just don't want you to push yourself too hard."Jack stated softly. "You don't have to prove anything to me or the others. If you need to go back to the hotel and rest just say so."  
  
Sam smiled at his concern and reached out to gently touch his right shoulder. "I'm alright, Jack. I just want us to not lose this one. I don't want to have to tell these people that Sara's not coming home."  
  
Jack sighed. "Neither do I. But with Danny and Viv coming up empty handed with the canvas it's not looking very good."  
  
Sam met his gaze. "We've found people with much less to go on."  
  
Jack smiled briefly. "I keep telling myself that."  
  
"I'm going to check the police blotter."Sam stated as she moved toward her laptop. "Maybe we'll find something in the crime stats of Sara's neighborhood."  
  
"Good idea."Jack acknowledged as he followed her toward the table."Martin, what did the final report say on Sidle's computer?"  
  
********  
  
30 hours missing  
  
(6:30 am)  
  
It was an exhausted emotionally drained group that gathered in the breakroom.  
  
Catherine had called them there because she was worried about the team's mental state.  
  
Especially Nick and Grissom.  
  
They sat down around the small round table. A box of doughnuts was in the center but nobody moved to grab one. No one had an appetite.  
  
Nick rested his elbows on the table's surface and rubbed his face with his hands struggling to stay awake. He was barely holding it together and he knew the others could see it but he didn't know what else to do.  
  
Catherine cleared her throat to gain everyone's attention. "I know some of you may hate me for this but I went and talked to Covallo."  
  
Grissom's head jerked up. His eyes red rimmed and weary. "About what?"  
  
Catherine leaned her hands against the table. "About putting everyone on this team on emergency leave excluding Greg who's already on medical leave."  
  
Despite his exhaustion Nick flew to his feet. "Leave? Catherine we don't need it. We need to be out there doing something for Sara not running around here processing crime scenes that we don't have the manpower for."  
  
Catherine met his gaze. "Due to the circumstances Covallo approved the leave. At least until Sara is found. We're all exhausted. We won't be doing any good if we process the evidence wrong."  
  
"You could've discussed this with us."Warrick said quietly.  
  
"Would you have listened to me?"Catherine asked her voice strained as she looked pointedly at Grissom. "Any of you? I don't like to be idle any more than the rest of you but I know I can't continue to function like this. Sara wouldn't want us to run ourselves into the ground."  
  
"Catherine's right."Grissom stated his voice barely above a whisper. "I want...."  
  
Everyone looked at Grissom to see why he had trailed off then they saw the camera crew in the doorway. A male reporter in his late twenties with short red hair and green eyes came barreling toward them.  
  
"How the hell did he get past security?"Nick yelled as everyone rose to their feet.  
  
"How does it feel to have one of your own be a victim to a violent crime?"  
  
Grissom walked toward the reporter his face a mask. "How does it feel? You want to know how it feels?"  
  
The reporter nodded eagerly as his gaze landed on Grissom's name tag. "You're Grissom lead criminalist.....is it true....."  
  
Before anyone could react Nick threw himself at the reporter his fist connecting with the younger man's jaw. The reporter crashed into the cameraman causing them both to land in a tangle of arms and legs in the hallway.  
  
Warrick and Greg caught Nick before he could land another punch.  
  
Grissom stepped over them and then looked down at the reporter who was struggling to get to his feet.  
  
"I hope you never know how it feels to have someone you care about disappear without leaving any evidence to work with."Grissom stated quietly as he looked down the hall to the main desk.  
  
"Somebody get security to actually do their job and get this crap out of my lab! Now!"  
  
Catherine watched worriedly as Grissom turned and stormed down the hallway leading to his office. A few moments later in the distance they heard a door slam shut.  
  
*********  
  
32 hours missing  
  
(8 am)  
  
Jack Malone walked through the now familiar hallways of CSI enroute to Grissom's office. He hated this part of the job but he felt the need to tell Grissom the latest news in person.  
  
It was the least he could do.  
  
Jack knocked on the open door and as Grissom glanced up Jack saw the flicker of hope in the older man's eyes.  
  
From the expression on Malone's face Gil knew what he had to say wasn't good news. Now all he had to do was get up the courage to ask.  
  
"Jack?"Grissom asked his voice dry.  
  
Jack sighed. "Local police found a body in a park near Sara's apartment."  
  
Grissom's throat closed up and his vision blurred. "I-is it Sara?"  
  
Jack shook his head. "I'm sorry but the body was in too bad of a condition to know for sure. I need somebody that knows Sara to come and make an ID."  
  
Grissom stood shakily. He rested his hands on the surface of the desk as if not sure where to move next. "I'll go."  
  
Jack took a step into the room concerned as he recalled his earlier conversation with Catherine. "You don't have too. I can ask Catherine or Nick....."  
  
"I'll do it!"Grissom nearly shouted as he walked around his desk.   
  
"Okay."Malone replied softly.  
  
Grissom paused in the doorway. "Just let me tell the others. I'll meet you in the parking lot." 


	12. chapter 12

Title: Barely Existing  
  
Author: Cindy Ryan  
  
category: angst, Xover  
  
pairings: Jack/Sam, Grissom/Sara  
  
Summary: After 'Play with fire' Sara vanishes, Grissom calls in a favor  
  
Notes: See part one. Thanks for the feedback. :)   
  
Grissom found Catherine, Nick and Warrick in the locker room. Catherine was seated on the bench with Nick and Warrick on opposite sides standing by the banks of lockers.  
  
None had noticed him yet. Catherine had her back to him.  
  
"I know we shouldn't still be here."Warrick stated as he leaned back against the bank of lockers. "But I can't think of where else to go."  
  
"None of us can."Nick replied his voice strained.  
  
"I think I'm going to head home."Catherine stated. "If you guys want to come with you're more than welcome."  
  
"What is it, Gris?"Warrick asked as he walked past Catherine causing her to turn around.  
  
"They....."Grissom started but his voice collapsed. He cleared his throat and tried again. "They found a body in a park near Sara's apartment."  
  
"Oh God."Catherine whispered and Nick placed a supportive hand on her left shoulder his face white as a sheet.  
  
"Is it?"Warrick asked a lump beginning to form in his throat.  
  
Grissom shook his head weakly. "They need me to go and make an ID."  
  
Catherine stood. "I'm coming with you."  
  
Grissom held up a hand. "No, I need you to stay here and keep things running."  
  
"You shouldn't have to do this alone."Warrick protested.  
  
"I owe Sara that much to do it alone."Grissom replied as he turned back toward the door. "As soon as I know anything I'll call."  
  
*********  
  
33 hours missing  
  
(9 am)  
  
The park that Jack parked on the street next to couldn't really be classified as a park. To Grissom's numb mind he had never really noticed the patch of grass and a few trees the couple times he had dropped Sara off or picked her up.  
  
There were no benches. The grass with this being Vegas was artificial. There were no swings, no soccer goals. Just hard grass and a few straggly trees that were trying to live in a desert environment.  
  
Grissom gripped the door handle of the passenger side door and looked out the window. It was like a hundred crime scenes he had seen before. Every square foot of the small park seemed to be covered by Brass's uniformed officers.   
  
Grissom spotted Brass standing by a couple of officers next to the group of trees. Crime scene tape stretched between the trees stark against the dark wood.  
  
Jack took the keys out of the ignition and glanced over at the scientist. "Gil?"  
  
Grissom closed his eyes briefly trying to find strength for the task ahead. He opened his eyes and slowly pushed the door open and got out.  
  
"Let's go."Grissom replied as Jack exited the vehicle.  
  
********  
  
"I'm going to go tell Greg."Catherine commented breaking the suffocating silence of the locker room.  
  
"Why?"Warrick asked more sharply than he had intended.  
  
Catherine turned to face him. "We promised we'd keep him in the loop."  
  
Nick shook his head. "I'm with Warrick. Greg's barely getting by as it is. Why tell him if we don't know for sure?"  
  
"Tell me what?"Greg asked his voice echoing through the room. "What's going on?"  
  
Nick sighed as he pushed himself away from the bank of lockers. He exchanged a look with Catherine before he walked toward the lab tech.  
  
"Come on, Greg."Nick urged as he placed a supportive hand on Sander's left shoulder. "Let's go for a walk."  
  
Greg stopped fear gripping him. He hadn't missed the ashen shocked expressions on their faces. He also hadn't missed how upset Grissom was when he had tore out of the lab ten minutes before.  
  
"Tell me, Nick."Greg demanded. "What's going on? You said you'd let me know if there was news on Sara...."  
  
Nick tried not to wince at the mention of Sara's name as he started walking again forcing Greg to match his step in order to keep up. "I will tell you, Greg. I just think we'll both need the fresh air when I do." 


	13. chapter 13

Title: Barely Existing  
  
Author: Cindy Ryan  
  
catagory: angst, Xover  
  
pairings: Jack/Sam, Grissom/Sara  
  
Summary: After 'Play with fire' Sara vanishes, Grissom calls in a favor  
  
Notes: See part one. Thanks for the feedback. :)   
  
"Cause of death?"Grissom asked Brass as he and Jack reached the detective. Grissom had to struggle to keep the shakiness out of his voice he wasn't sure if he succeeded.  
  
Brass exchanged a concerned look with Malone before he said. "Gil, just a warning the body is pretty badly burned. It wasn't burned here there are no burn marks on the trees or the pavement...."  
  
Grissom squatted down by the body's shoulder's to keep from crashing. His knees had suddenly lost feeling. He was struggling not to think of the flames as they would've consumed the body.  
  
Jack knelt across from Grissom one hand poised at the top of the black rubber sheet that covered the body the other covered his mouth and nose. He looked at Grissom waiting for a signal.  
  
Grissom had to fight to control his breathing. It'd been a long time since he'd had to identify the body of a colleague. Even longer since he'd attended a funeral of a friend......someone who truly held up to that word not just a co-worker who you grabbed dinner with every once in awhile. But a genuine friend who called out of the blue to see how you are.  
  
Grissom had very few people to put on that list. He hoped that Sara had known that. He hoped that despite the awkwardness of exploring something that they couldn't define that she knew that he could always count on her no matter what.   
  
"Gil?"Jack prompted.  
  
Grissom met the FBI agent's gaze and nodded.  
  
Jack slowly pulled back the rubber sheet.  
  
*********  
  
Greg sank down and sat on the curb of the Strip just outside the New York,New York casino.  
  
Nick sat down next to him and they watched the traffic zoom by.  
  
"Doesn't mean it's over, Greg."Nick stated trying to be reassuring but he was slowly being overwhelmed by his own fear. All he kept seeing was Grissom kneeling by Sara's bloody and broken body.  
  
"I know."Greg replied softly. "But the odds of them finding a body matching her height, hair color and weight in the vincity of where she lived....."  
  
Nick shook his head. "She wouldn't give up on either one of us. I'm not about to give up on her. Not until Grissom makes the ID."  
  
**********  
  
Grissom blinked several times to clear his vision. To make sure his eyes weren't playing tricks on him. To make sure his mind wasn't letting him see what he wanted to see.  
  
His hand moved to his nose to cover the distinct smell of burnt flesh.  
  
"It's not her."Grissom whispered.  
  
Jack glanced up at Brass and then back at Grissom. "You sure?"  
  
Grissom nodded as he stood. "Sara has a birthmark just above her collar bone. Even with the severe burns I can tell the birthmark isn't there."  
  
Malone pulled the sheet back over the body as he rose to his feet. "I'll call my team, tell them we have a clock back."  
  
As Jack stepped away to make the call Grissom couldn't move from the body.  
  
He had been so very afraid that he'd be staring at the body of a woman who was coming to mean much more to him than he had ever allowed himself to dream.  
  
Grissom made a promise to himself then and there. When they found Sara and brought her home Grissom was going to tell her how he felt. 


	14. chapter 14

Title: Barely Existing  
  
Author: Cindy Ryan  
  
category: angst, Xover  
  
pairings: Jack/Sam, Grissom/Sara  
  
Summary: After 'Play with fire' Sara vanishes, Grissom calls in a favor  
  
Notes: See part one. Thanks for the feedback. :)   
  
Warrick jumped as his cell phone rang echoing loudly through the locker room where he sat with Catherine.  
  
Catherine looked at him expectantly as he pulled out the phone and answered it.  
  
"Warrick."Brown spoke into the phone knowing his voice sounded anxious and shaky.  
  
Catherine watched her friend's face as he listened to whoever was on the other end. She could only pray that it was Grissom with good news.  
  
"I'll let her know."Warrick promised as he pushed the correct button to terminate the call.  
  
"Was that Grissom?"Catherine asked.  
  
Warrick nodded a smile slowly crossing his face. "Yeah. Cath, it wasn't Sara. It wasn't her. We still got a chance at getting her back."  
  
"Thank God."Catherine whispered as she rested her head against his left shoulder.  
  
Warrick placed a comforting arm around Catherine's shoulders. "I'll call Nick and let him know."  
  
*********  
  
As Grissom and Jack were almost to their car Grissom spotted something across the street. It was laying against the trash can glittering in the morning sun.  
  
"What?"Jack asked knowing that look all too well.  
  
Grissom didn't reply as he scurried across the street ignoring traffic. The trash can was about hundred yards from Sara's apartment complex.  
  
Grissom reached the trash can and knelt down. What he had seen glittering in the sun was a simple gold bracelet with links. It was tangled between the trash can and a lamp post.  
  
It was also was covered with a small amount of blood.  
  
"What'd you find?"Jack asked as he knelt down.  
  
"Sara's bracelet."Grissom replied. "She was wearing it that night."  
  
"You sure?"  
  
"Positive."Grissom replied. "Get me an evidence bag from Brass."  
  
*******  
  
35 hours missing  
  
(10 am)  
  
"Do you want the good news or the bad news?"Catherine asked as she stepped into the break room where the others were gathered.  
  
"Bad."Warrick replied as he leaned against the wall next to Nick. Greg and Grissom were seated around the table.  
  
Catherine looked at Grissom watching him closely as she said. "They matched the blood on the bracelet to Sara."  
  
"Damn."Nick swore softly as he started to pace between the wall and the sofa.  
  
Grissom lowered his head, his eyes closed. After a moment he asked. "What's the good news?"  
  
For the first time in days Catherine's eyes sparkled. "There was a fingerprint on the bracelet that wasn't Sara's."  
  
Greg smiled. "We got him."  
  
"Only if he's in the system."Grissom cautioned. "Otherwise all we have is a phantom print."  
  
Warrick shook his head. "This guy's in the system. He has to be. Nobody grabs somebody this clean without having some kind of record."  
  
Nick walked toward the door. "I'll go update Sara's parents." 


	15. chapter 15

Title: Barely Existing  
  
Author: Cindy Ryan  
  
category: angst, Xover  
  
pairings: Jack/Sam, Grissom/Sara  
  
Summary: After 'Play with fire' Sara vanishes, Grissom calls in a favor  
  
Notes: See part one. Thanks for the feedback. :)   
  
35 hours missing  
  
(10:45 am)  
  
"We got a name to the fingerprint."Martin exclaimed as he rushed into the interrogation room clutching a computer printout. "Phil Caton."  
  
"Tell me we have a last known address."Jack replied as he reached for a phone.  
  
Martin smiled. "He's local. 237 Divine, #K. Been arrested many times for robbery and assault."  
  
"You guys go."Jack ordered. "I'll have a warrant ready by the time you get there."  
  
"Sam."Jack called halting her in the doorway coat in hand.  
  
Sam turned slowly to face him waiting for the reprimand.  
  
"Be careful."  
  
Sam nodded before turning to hurry to catch up with the others.  
  
Jack watched the empty doorway for a moment trying not to remember the last time he had watched her walk out a doorway on an assignment.  
  
A voice in his ear snapped Jack back to the task at hand. "Yes, this is Special Agent Jack Malone. I need an arrest warrant for a Phil Caton."  
  
***********  
  
36 hours missing  
  
(11 am)  
  
With Brass and his officers waiting outside Vivian, Sam, Martin and Danny hurried up the stairs of an expensive condo weapons drawn.  
  
"You sure this is his last known address?"Sam asked increadously. "This place is way too nice for an ex-con."  
  
Martin nodded. "It's what came up. Maybe he came into a fortune gambling. This is Vegas after all."  
  
Danny held up his hand to quiet them when they reached the third floor landing. He opened the door of the stair well and looked into the corridor.  
  
"It's clear."Danny reported. "K's the only door on this floor."  
  
"Go on three."Vivian ordered as she reached Danny's side and began to step past him. "One, two...."  
  
"Three...."Danny finished as he moved quickly into the corridor and stopped in front of the condo door fully prepared to kick it in.  
  
Sam called out. "Phil Caton, this is the FBI! We have a warrant for your arrest."  
  
Danny, Vivian and Martin glanced at each other and then back at Sam. They waited.  
  
One beat.  
  
Two.  
  
Vivian nodded and Danny and Martin took several steps back and then charged at the door kicking it open. The door flew open with such force that it bounced hard against the wall behind.  
  
"Clear!"Danny shouted as they moved into the living room.  
  
"Clear!"Martin reported from the kitchen.  
  
Sam walked into the bedroom and spotted a short skinny Caucasian man with dirty blond hair stepping through the window onto the fire escape.  
  
"In here!"Sam called to the others as she scrambled forward gun raised. She wasn't cleared for field duty officially. She couldn't fire her weapon without risking her career and Jack's.  
  
"FBI!"Sam shouted causing Caton to freeze momentarily. "Move away from the window."  
  
Caton laughed and reached back into the room. He picked up a heavy round lamp from the night stand and threw it.  
  
Sam held up her hands to deflect the lamp but she wasn't quick enough. The lamp slammed into her left shoulder shattering on impact. Sam felt herself crashing to the floor just as Danny and Vivian raced into the room.  
  
Danny was instantly kneeling next to Sam careful of the shards of glass.  
  
"Sam, you okay?"  
  
Sam waved Vivian toward the open window with her right arm. "He went out the fire escape."  
  
Vivian raced to the window but Caton was no longer in view. "Martin's heading down there now. Brass's officer's are blocking off the building and surrounding area. He won't get far."  
  
Sam tried to sit up and grimaced.  
  
Danny didn't miss the pain in her face and took out his cell phone. "I'm calling an ambulance."  
  
Sam reached out and grabbed his wrist. "Danny, don't."  
  
"We don't know how deep some of those cuts are, Sam."Taylor replied his voice tight with concern. "You could need stitches."  
  
"I'll deal with it later."Sam said as she started to rise to her feet."You know Jack will recall me. I want to finish this one. We have to get Caton."  
  
Danny studied his friend for a long moment before he nodded and offered her a hand up. "Alright, it's your call. Did Caton say anything to you?"  
  
Sam shook her head as she gingerly brushed glass off her sleeve. "No, he just laughed and threw the lamp."  
  
"Let's see if there's anything in here."Vivian suggested as she began to search the bedroom. 


	16. chapter 16

Title: Barely Existing  
  
Author: Cindy Ryan  
  
category: angst, Xover  
  
pairings: Jack/Sam, Grissom/Sara  
  
Summary: After 'Play with fire' Sara vanishes, Grissom calls in a favor  
  
Notes: See part one. Thanks for the feedback. :)   
  
Martin had reached the back corner of the adjacent condo building when he spotted a skinny blond man running toward the dumpsters. Martin pulled out his radio and told Brass of the man's location. Putting on speed Martin ran toward the end of the building.  
  
Caton had just reached the top of a metal fence when Martin reached him. Martin reached up and grabbed the younger man by the back of his belt and yanked him off the fence.  
  
Caton tumbled to the ground. Martin was about to reach down and grab Caton's left arm when Caton sprang to his feet like a cat.  
  
Martin had his gun raised instantly but he could hear the footfalls of Brass and his officers.  
  
"Phil Caton, you're under arrest for kidnapping and suspected assault of Sara Sidle."Martin stated slightly out of breath just as Brass came to a halt behind him.  
  
"Where is Sara?"Brass demanded.  
  
Caton smirked."I have no idea what you're talking about, man."  
  
Martin turned Caton around and slammed him against the fence. "If you don't know why'd you run?"  
  
"I didn't run."Caton replied. "I was going for a walk."  
  
"Out the fire escape?"Brass asked coldly. "Maybe you didn't know the name of the woman you grabbed last night. So let's try this. What did you do with the woman you kidnapped?"  
  
"I didn't kidnap nobody."  
  
Martin slammed Caton against the fence harder this time. "Wrong answer."  
  
Martin cocked the hammer of his gun and aimed it at Caton's head. "The detective asked you a question. Where is the woman you took?"  
  
Caton's shoulder's slumped and sweat began to pour down his forehead."Parking garage."  
  
Martin pressed the gun harder against Caton's head. "What parking garage?"  
  
"The one with the lion."  
  
Brass yanked out his radio. "All units report to the parking garage of the MGM Grand."  
  
********  
  
37 hours missing  
  
(noon)  
  
Danny turned off the safety on his gun as he and Martin slowly entered the east entrance of the parking garage of the MGM Grand hotel.  
  
Jack, Vivian, Captain Brass and most of the Las Vegas police department were coming in from the north entrance.  
  
Grissom and Catherine stood anxiously by the north entrance waiting for Brass's all clear signal. Nick,Warrick and Greg had promised to wait back by the Tahoe. But Grissom had a feeling they'd be here sooner rather than later.   
  
"Where did Caton say she was?"Martin asked in a unnecessary whisper as they inched toward the back of the garage.  
  
"Storage room."Danny replied as he held his flashlight at shoulder level."We should be coming up on it."  
  
"That's it."Malone stated as he and Brass came up from the right.  
  
The uniformed officers hung back as the trio approached the small square door underneath the back of a stairwell.  
  
Danny took the lead as he grasped the handle and pulled.  
  
The door wouldn't budge.  
  
At that moment Brass realized Grissom was behind him. "I told you to stay outside."  
  
"I had to be here."Grissom replied his gaze fixed on the storage unit door.  
  
Jack stepped forward and gripped the handle. "Danny, both of us on three. One.....two.....three...."  
  
Danny was propelled backward a few steps as the door opened with a small pop.  
  
"Sara?"Jack called as he lowered his head to peak into the room.  
  
Grissom swallowed hard when no response came.  
  
/She had to be alive, she just had to be./  
  
"Martin, get the paramedics in here."Jack ordered as he backed out allowing Danny to move further into the room.  
  
Grissom scrambled forward. "Jack?"  
  
Malone placed a supportive hand on the criminalist's shoulder. "She has a pulse, but her breathing's shallow. Several bruises on her face and neck and upper arms along with scrapes on her legs. Looks like she gave Caton a hell of a fight before he locked her up in there."  
  
Grissom pushed past the FBI agent and knelt as best he could by Sara's still form. He couldn't believe she had lasted this long in such a small space.  
  
Grissom gently touched Sara's right cheek more to convince himself that she was still with them than to let her know he was there.  
  
"Sara, it's Gil."Grissom whispered just as the paramedics arrived. "You're safe now. You're going to be fine."  
  
A red haired female paramedic was the first through the door."Sir, you're going to have to step out so we can work on her."  
  
Grissom nodded. "Of course."he replied as he quickly backed out of the room.  
  
*******  
  
"Is she going to be okay?"Sam asked as she approached Jack's left side as they watched the ambulance drive away.  
  
Jack nodded. "She will be. Paramedics said they'll have to watch her closely over the next few days since she was severely dehydrated."  
  
"Good."  
  
"How's your arm?"Jack asked his gaze not leaving the retreating ambulance.  
  
"It's fine."  
  
"You need to get it checked out."Jack ordered knowing he was close to the line of being smothering but he didn't care.  
  
"Jack...."  
  
"I know, you can handle yourself."  
  
Sam looked out at the horizon. "We need to talk when we get home."  
  
"I know."Jack agreed just as the rest of the team came to join them. 


	17. chapter 17

Title: Barely Existing  
  
Author: Cindy Ryan  
  
category: angst, Xover  
  
pairings: Jack/Sam, Grissom/Sara  
  
Summary: After 'Play with fire' Sara vanishes, Grissom calls in a favor  
  
Notes: See part one. Thanks for the feedback. :)   
  
"Mr. Grissom?"  
  
Everyone waiting in the waiting room started at the female voice. Grissom looked up to see a brown haired doctor approaching.  
  
"How is she?"Grissom asked as he walked toward the doctor. Catherine close behind.  
  
"Sara's severely dehydrated has a few bruised ribs, concussion and several lacerations. I want to keep her sedated for the next twenty four hours so we can get fluids back into her. All and all she's doing remarkably well considering what she's been through."  
  
"Can we see her?"Sara's mother asked anxiously.  
  
The doctor shook her head. "Not today. Tomorrow you can. I'll make sure your names are added to the visitor's list."  
  
"Thank you, doctor."Catherine acknowledged.  
  
*********  
  
One thirty the next afternoon was the soonest anyone could visit Sara. Grissom walked into Sara's hospital room carrying a bouquet of red roses in a crystal vase. He hadn't left the hospital the night before and had only left early that morning to grab a shower and change of clothes.  
  
"Those are beautiful."  
  
Grissom's head jerked toward the bed surprised that she was awake. "I'm sorry, didn't mean to wake you."  
  
Sara smiled. "You didn't. I'm glad to see a familiar face."  
  
Grissom returned her smile as he set the vase down on the small side table next to the bed. "They wouldn't let us visit you until now. The others are waiting impatiently in the hall. But I thought one at a time would be easier on you."  
  
Sara nodded. "Thank you."  
  
Grissom pulled a chair up next to Sara's bed watching her closely. Her skin was pale making her numerous bruises stark against it. There was also a large gash against her left wrist where Grissom guessed the bracelet had been ripped away. It was now covered with a bandage. There were red marks mixed with bruises around Sara's neck showing where Caton had made initial contact. IV tubes ran into her left arm.  
  
Sara saw Grissom's gaze tracing each of her injuries and reached out to cover his right hand with hers. "I'll be okay."  
  
Grissom nodded. "I know."  
  
"How did you find me?"Sara asked her voice quiet. "I asked but the doctors didn't know many of the details only that the FBI was involved."  
  
Grissom cleared his throat. "Nick was the first to notice that you were missing. He found your apartment door unlocked when he came to pick you up for breakfast. I called in a favor with a friend who runs the missing persons unit of the FBI in New York. They flew in that afternoon."  
  
Sara raised an eyebrow. "You have friends with the Feds? Thought you hated them."  
  
Grissom shook his head. "I don't hate them. I hate the non-cooperation between departments."  
  
Sara leaned back against the pillow her new found strength suddenly fading. Tears began to form as she said. "I'm glad you decided to trust them anyway. I don't think I could've held out much longer. The air was getting stale, there wasn't any water....."  
  
Grissom reached forward and squeezed her hand to comfort her. Silence hung between them for a moment.  
  
"You scared the hell out of me, Sara."Grissom stated in a trembling voice."I've been able to rely on you for years. To trust and count on your friendship and to suddenly have a void.....I had no idea what to do without you."  
  
Sara saw the stark emotion on Grissom's face and swallowed hard. She couldn't deal with this right now. The awkwardness between them the last few weeks had been hard enough.  
  
"Gil....."  
  
Grissom met her gaze and saw the unshed tears. He didn't want to cause her any pain. But this had gone on too long. He needed to get his feelings out even if they could never be returned.  
  
"Sara, let me finish."Grissom replied softly.  
  
Sara nodded and leaned back against the pillow.  
  
"When you disappeared it gave me a lot of time to think. A few weeks ago you asked me to take a chance and I was too afraid to be hurt if this thing between us didn't last."  
  
Surprised at his words Sara opened her mouth to speak but closed it when Gil placed a hand on her arm.  
  
"I know I've hurt you and if after all this you want to transfer I won't stand in your way if that's what you really want."Grissom paused and took a breath."But I do care about you a great deal, Sara. I always have.  
  
You know I'm not good with people.....with relationships. I'm better with science, with experiments that have a controlled start and end.  
  
I do know that the void I've dealt with over the past thirty hours is something I never want to experience again. I do treasure the part of my life that you hold. If you decide you want to give us another chance.....once you've healed.....once you've considered everything we're risking. I'm more than willing to try to define this thing we have."  
  
Tears clogged Sara's throat so she couldn't speak. Never had she expected to hear such words of emotion from Grissom. Sara thought he had dismissed her to nothing more than an employee.  
  
Grissom took her silence as an answer and slowly stood. He leaned over and gently kissed her forehead.  
  
"I'll let you rest a few minutes before I sent your parents in."  
  
Sara snagged Grissom's right arm as he turned to leave. "Gris...." 


	18. chapter 18

Title: Barely Existing  
  
Author: Cindy Ryan  
  
category: angst, Xover  
  
pairings: Jack/Sam, Grissom/Sara  
  
Summary: After 'Play with fire' Sara vanishes, Grissom calls in a favor  
  
Notes: See part one. Thanks for the feedback. :)   
  
Grissom turned to face her.  
  
"It did hurt when you turned me down."  
  
"Sara...."  
  
"I let you say what you had to...."  
  
"Sorry."Grissom apologized as he sat down and waited for her to continue.  
  
"When I was in that room."Sara began."I didn't want to give up. I didn't want to let him win. I figured somebody would eventually notice I wasn't there and start looking.  
  
As time wore on and the air got thinner and hotter. No water, no food, no way out. I-I began to think I wasn't going to see anyone again. Not my family. Not my friends and especially not you.  
  
It sounds cliché but all I could think of was the wasted time. My timing was off as it always was. I should've asked you sooner but then I started dating Hank and we know how well that worked. My relationship with Hank hadn't been serious but I thought I could trust him. Turned out I couldn't.  
  
I'm tired of being alone. But I don't want us to rush into anything just because I was abducted."  
  
Grissom shook his head. "That's not why.....it just clarified things."  
  
"I know."Sara replied tiredly."Can we table this for now? I'm really tired."  
  
Grissom nodded in understanding as he stood. "I'll tell your parents to com in."  
  
"Thanks."  
  
Grissom paused awkwardly in the doorway. "If you need anything...."  
  
Sara smiled. "I'll let you know. Thank you for the roses."  
  
Grissom returned her smile. "You're welcome."he replied as he stepped out of the room.  
  
**********  
  
Jack Malone was packing the last of the paperwork into his briefcase when Grissom stepped into the interrogation room. Everyone else was at the hotel preparing to leave for the airport.  
  
"Heading back already?"Grissom asked as he stopped by the right side of the table.  
  
Malone nodded. "We got another case. If we leave now we'll be able to get some work done by midnight."  
  
"I appreciate you coming, Jack."Grissom stated quietly.  
  
Jack closed the briefcase and stood it on end. "I'm glad it had a happy ending. Wish I had time to meet Sara though. How's she doing?"  
  
"Tired, but expected to make a full recovery."  
  
"Good."Malone replied as he walked past Grissom to the door. "I'll call when I get back and let you know if there's any final paperwork I need to close the case."  
  
Grissom nodded. "If there's ever anything my team can do...."  
  
Jack paused in the doorway coat over one arm. "I hope I never have to call in that favor. Tell Sara that we're glad she's okay."  
  
"I will."Grissom promised. "Have a safe flight."  
  
*********  
  
After her parents left Sara had fallen back asleep. She woke to find Nick sitting in the chair by her bed.  
  
Sara smiled. "You look like hell."  
  
Nick grinned. "I wouldn't talk. Have you looked in a mirror lately?"  
  
"I'm glad you're here."Sara stated her face serious.  
  
"Wouldn't be anywhere else."Nick replied as he leaned forward. "Oh, I snuck you in some junk food."  
  
Sara smiled as Nick pulled two chocolate bars out of his coat pocket."Thanks."  
  
Nick placed both candy bars on the nightstand before turning back to face Sara. "I wanted to process your apartment but Covallo pulled us off the case. I wanted to be out there looking but Brass and the Feds......"  
  
"Nick...."Sara interupted."I know you guys did all you could."  
  
Nick met her gaze and for the first time Sara saw the turbulent emotions.  
  
"You scared us, Sara."Nick stated quietly."Nobody wanted to give up....Warrick, Greg, Catherine. But towards the end I started to think....that I wouldn't see you again."  
  
Sara reached out and took Nick's right hand in hers tears forming. "I'm okay, Nicky."  
  
***********  
  
It was just before visiting hours ended that night when Warrick poked his head into Sara's room. She smiled at him and clicked the tv off as she motioned him into the room.  
  
"Hi."  
  
"Hey."Warrick greeted with a smile as he sat down.  
  
Warrick glanced at the stack of music CD's and walkman resting on the spare pillow.  
  
Sara followed his gaze. "Present from Greg. I think there's every kind of music I could ever want on those. Mixed them himself."  
  
"Typical Greg."Warrick replied with a grin as he leaned back in the chair.  
  
"Yeah."Sara acknowledged as she studied her friend. "You okay?"  
  
"I thought that was my question."  
  
"Warrick."  
  
"I'm okay just haven't gotten that much sleep is all."  
  
"Nick told me the Feds had pegged you as an accompliance in my disappearance."Sara stated quietly. "He told me they questioned you a couple of times."  
  
"My track record isn't exactly clean, Sara."Warrick replied. "You of all people know that."  
  
"Still no reason for them to drag you through the mud."  
  
Warrick shook his head as he leaned forward. "They had nothing else to go on, Sara. The Dayside unit had found absolutely nothing to process at your place. No fibers, no shoe prints, no hairs. From their point of view out of all of us I was the most likely to have a connection."  
  
"Especially since you dropped me off."Sara finished with a shake of her head. "If you need me to talk to them....."  
  
Warrick smiled at her offer. "Thanks, but no. They finally realized I was telling the truth and moved on."  
  
After a moment of silence Warrick glanced at his watch and stood. "Well I better get out of here before they throw me out."  
  
"Thanks for coming, Warrick."Sara stated as Brown walked toward the door.  
  
"No problem."Warrick replied as he opened the door and stepped into the hallway. "I'm glad you're back, Sara."  
  
Sara nodded in response as he closed the door behind him. She leaned back against the pillow and was almost instantly asleep. 


	19. chapter 19

Here's the final chapter. :) Thanks to all who've left feedback. It was very much appreciated.  
  
Title: Barely Existing  
  
Author: Cindy Ryan  
  
category: angst, Xover  
  
pairings: Jack/Sam, Grissom/Sara  
  
Summary: After 'Play with fire' Sara vanishes, Grissom calls in a favor  
  
Notes: See part one. Thanks for the feedback. :)   
  
It was almost a week before Sara was strong enough to return to work. Sara was grateful to be back absorbed by the usual busy onslaught of cases.  
  
Two days after her return to work Sara was at a crime scene at a grocery store when her cell phone rang. Stepping away from the others Sara answered it.  
  
"Sidle."  
  
"Hi."Grissom replied and Sara smiled as she rested the phone against her shoulder.  
  
"Hi. Do you need one of us back at the lab?"  
  
"No, this isn't work related. I was hoping I could talk you into dinner tonight."  
  
"Sure."Sara replied. "Where?"  
  
"My place. I'll cook."  
  
Sara laughed. "You?"  
  
"You don't think I can cook?"  
  
"Well....."  
  
Grissom laughed. "I can cook. I just don't have time for it most days. I'll see you at seven."  
  
"Bye."Sara replied as she ended the conversation and pocked the phone. Putting a new pair of latex gloves on she returned to the crime scene.  
  
********  
  
Sara arrived at Grissom's apartment at fifteen minutes after seven.  
  
"Sorry I'm late."Sara apologized as soon as he opened the door. "Traffic was hell. Tried to call but was in a bad cell couldn't get a signal."  
  
Grissom smiled as he took her coat. "It's fine."  
  
"It smells wonderful."Sara complimented as she stepped farther into the living room.  
  
"Thanks."Grissom replied as he came to stand next to her. "The vegetarian lasgana should be almost ready."  
  
"I brought a bottle of wine."Sara stated as she handed him the silver paper bag she'd been carrying.  
  
"You didn't have to."Grissom acknowledged. "But thank you. I'll get us some glasses."  
  
Sara followed him into the small kitchen. "Anything I can do to help?"  
  
Grissom shook his head. "No. Just sit and relax. Did your parents get back okay?"  
  
Sara smiled. "Yeah they left last night."  
  
"That's good."  
  
Ten minutes later the wine was open and poured and dinner was served.  
  
Grissom picked up his wine glass and glanced across the table at Sara. He was so grateful that she was alright. Grateful that they had a second chance.  
  
Sara saw the look on his face and shook her head. "You're going to make a toast, aren't you?"  
  
"The thought crossed my mind."Grissom replied with a smile.  
  
"I thought we were keeping this informal, low pressure, feel things out as we go thing?"  
  
"We are."Grissom confirmed as he reached across the table and took her left hand in his. "I know it's corny but I just wanted to make a toast to the future."  
  
Sara smiled and raised her own glass with her free hand.  
  
"To getting a second chance."  
  
Sara touched her glass with his. She knew that her rescue had been a second chance for her to reprioritize her life. To put things first that really mattered.  
  
"To second chances."Sara echoed with a smile as they both took a sip of wine and placed the glasses down.  
  
Grissom stood and leaned across the table and captured her lips with his.  
  
end 


End file.
